Tips for Forgiveness: Setting Healthy Boundaries for Future Interactions

Learning how to forgive isn’t about excusing someone’s behavior — it’s about setting yourself free. When you release old pain, you stop carrying the weight of the past and open the door to peace, healing, and new beginnings. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself!

Forgiveness can feel like one of the hardest things we’re ever asked to do, especially when the pain runs deep and the wound feels personal. Many of us carry regret, grief, and old hurts for years, replaying painful memories like a broken record. Each time they surface, they quietly drain our joy and keep us tethered to a past we’ve long outgrown. You should find these tips for forgiveness helpful so you can let go and get on with your life.

Forgiveness Sets You Free

Forgiveness isn’t really about excusing what happened or forgetting the hurt—it’s about freeing yourself from the weight of it. Who is still carrying that burden now—you, or the person who caused the pain? When we begin exploring gentle, compassionate tips for forgiveness, we come to understand that releasing resentment is not a weakness but an act of self-care and personal power.

If you feel ready to loosen the grip of old wounds, soften the pain, and reclaim your peace, read on.

Forgiveness Isn’t Letting Someone Off the Hook

Forgiveness does not mean excusing someone’s behaviour, pretending it was acceptable, or allowing them back into your life without healthy boundaries. True forgiveness is an act of kindness toward yourself. One of the most important tips for forgiveness to remember is that it’s not about what they deserve—it’s about what you need in order to heal.

There’s a powerful saying: “Forgiveness is letting go of the hope for a better past.” We can’t rewrite what happened, but we can choose to stop reliving it. Forgiveness allows you to reclaim your energy, release the emotional charge of old memories, and gently choose peace over pain.

When you forgive, you don’t erase the past—you simply refuse to let it dictate your future. And in that choice, something within you begins to soften, heal, and move forward.

Card 49 from the 6th Sense Connection Oracle Cards reminds us: forgiveness is freedom. Available on Amazon and in bookstores.

tips for forgiveness
The dove brings the olive branch so you may find peace.

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean What They Did Was Ok

People often act in hurtful ways for reasons we may never fully understand. Thoughtlessness, fear, insecurity, or emotional immaturity can all shape behaviour that leaves lasting scars. One of the gentlest tips for forgiveness is recognising that understanding why something happened does not mean accepting or approving of it—it simply helps loosen the emotional grip it holds.

Sometimes the deepest pain comes from those we hold closest—friends, family members, or partners who let us down when we need them most. The hurt can feel even sharper when apologies sound hollow or insincere, as though the words are offered to justify their actions rather than truly acknowledge the pain they caused.

In moments like these, forgiveness isn’t something that arrives neatly wrapped in an apology. It becomes an inner process—one that asks not whether they deserve forgiveness, but how you can release yourself from carrying the weight of what was done.

Excuses Aren’t A Sincere Apology

You may hear phrases like, “I didn’t know how to deal with it,” or “I was going through a lot myself.” While these explanations may be true from their perspective, they can still sting deeply. Instead of feeling seen or supported, you may be left with the sense that your pain was inconvenient or overlooked—something you were expected to carry alone. One of the most important tips for forgiveness is acknowledging how isolating this can feel, because unacknowledged pain often hardens into resentment.

Forgiveness in these moments is not about giving someone a free pass. It is not about saying, “What you did was okay,” because it wasn’t. Rather, forgiveness is about reclaiming your own narrative—choosing to loosen the grip that hurt has on your heart, and deciding that your future deserves more space than your past.

In doing so, you shift from carrying the weight of what happened to standing in your own strength, clarity, and emotional freedom.

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Acknowledging Their Actions Without Excusing Them

When someone lets you down, it’s important to fully acknowledge what happened. Pretending it didn’t hurt, brushing it aside, or minimising your feelings only delays healing. One of the most grounding tips for forgiveness is allowing yourself to see the situation clearly: they were not there when you needed them, and their reasons—however understandable—do not undo the impact of their absence.

Acknowledgement is the first step toward empowerment. It validates your experience and restores a sense of self-respect that can be quietly eroded when pain goes unrecognised. You might gently remind yourself:

“They may not have known how to handle the situation, but that doesn’t make my hurt any less real.”

“I needed support, and it wasn’t there. I am allowed to feel disappointed.”

By acknowledging what happened, you are not condemning them—and you are not excusing them either. You are simply honouring your own truth. And that, in itself, is a powerful act of healing.

Setting Healthy Boundaries for Future Interactions

Once you have acknowledged the truth of what happened, the next step is setting healthy boundaries. Boundaries are not about punishment or retaliation; they are about self-protection. One of the most practical tips for forgiveness is understanding that forgiveness works best when you feel emotionally safe.

Boundaries are the guidelines you put in place to protect your peace and preserve your wellbeing. They might look like:

  • Limiting contact with someone who has repeatedly let you down
  • Choosing not to share vulnerable parts of your life with them
  • Politely declining invitations if being around them feels uncomfortable
  • Being honest—without over-explaining—if distance is noticed

You might say something as simple as:
“I felt unsupported during a difficult time, and I need space to process that.”

Boundaries are an act of self-respect. They allow you to forgive from a place of strength rather than self-sacrifice—offering compassion without abandoning your own needs.

Accepting They May Not Be the Support You Need

One of life’s hardest truths is accepting that not everyone is capable of showing up for us in the way we need. This is not a reflection of your worth, but of their limitations. Some people lack the emotional capacity, maturity, or awareness to offer the support you deserve.

Accepting this can feel painful, but it is also freeing. Among the most liberating tips for forgiveness is releasing unrealistic expectations. When you stop expecting someone to be who they cannot be, you free yourself from repeated disappointment.

Acceptance does not mean bitterness or resentment. It means you stop waiting for something that may never come and redirect your energy toward relationships that nourish and sustain you.

Forgiving Without Reopening the Door to Hurt

tips for forgiveness

Forgiveness is powerful—but it does not require reopening the door to pain. You can forgive someone and still decide:

  • You need distance to heal
  • They are not emotionally safe for you
  • The relationship must change, or end altogether

Forgiveness here is not reconciliation. It is release. One of the most overlooked tips for forgiveness is knowing that closure does not require continued access.

By letting go of resentment, you free yourself from mental and emotional loops that keep you stuck. Moving forward may—and often should—include protecting your heart from further harm.

Choosing Yourself Through Forgiveness

Ultimately, forgiveness is not about the other person. It is about choosing yourself.

Choosing peace over replaying the past.
Choosing freedom over emotional exhaustion.
Choosing healing over holding on.

By acknowledging what happened, setting boundaries, and accepting limitations, you create a safe internal space to heal. Forgiveness becomes a gift you give yourself—not a pass for someone else’s behaviour.

When you forgive in this way, you’re no longer surviving. You’re thriving. You’re standing in your self-worth, knowing your wellbeing matters and your heart deserves protection.

When Someone Does You Wrong

Forgiveness does not mean allowing toxic people continued access to your life. When someone lies, betrays, or mistreats you, it is okay to walk away. As Maya Angelou wisely said, “When people show you who they are, believe them.”

One of the clearest tips for forgiveness is recognising that trust and forgiveness are not the same thing. You can forgive someone without trusting them again.

Forgiveness means refusing to let their actions define your happiness. It means placing the past where it belongs and reclaiming your power.

Forgiveness Is for Your Benefit, Not Theirs

The spiritual message behind disapointment
It’s disapointing when someone lets you down, but there’s always a spiritual message behind it!

Replaying old hurts is like drinking poison and hoping the other person feels the pain. You may never receive the explanation or apology you long for.

But you can give yourself peace.

Ask yourself: How much freedom would I feel if I stopped giving this situation my energy?
That question alone is one of the most transformative tips for forgiveness.

Forgiveness is about taking back control of your thoughts, emotions, and inner world.

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When Painful Memories Keep Returning

Intrusive memories are not a failure to forgive—they are invitations to heal more deeply.

Each time an old hurt resurfaces, pause and remind yourself: This is a signal to release, not relive.
Forgiveness is a practice, not a one-time decision.

Every time you choose release over rumination, you reclaim a little more of your power.

Learn the Lesson—and Forgive Yourself Too

Healing through forgiveness often involves learning the lesson. Sometimes it’s obvious; sometimes it takes time. Often, the lesson is simply recognising who is safe to keep close—and who is not.

And don’t forget this vital part: forgive yourself.

You may have trusted too easily or ignored red flags, but that doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. One of the most compassionate tips for forgiveness is extending it inward.

A Simple Forgiveness Exercise to Release the Past

When old memories resurface, try this grounding practice:

  1. Place your right hand on your heart
  2. Take five slow, steady breaths
  3. Repeat quietly:
    “I release the need to carry pain from this situation with [name].
    It was a lesson for my growth, and I leave it in the past where it belongs.”

This signals safety to your nervous system and helps reset your emotional state.

Embrace the Freedom of Forgiveness

tips for forgiveness

Forgiveness is not a single moment—it is a journey. Old wounds may resurface, not to punish you, but to show how far you’ve come.

Each time you choose forgiveness over resentment, you choose yourself.
You loosen the grip of the past and make space for peace, joy, and new possibilities.

Forgiveness is freedom.
Choose it—not because they deserve it, but because you do.

Take Your Power Back

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You can take back your power with 6th Sense Connection Oracle Cards because they act like spiritual mirrors, reflecting not only the energy surrounding you, but also revealing what’s ready to be healed or released within. Each card becomes a message from Spirit, gently guiding you back to clarity, truth, and alignment with your higher self.

 Till next time love, light, and Angel blessings

Anne-Marie 

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Anne-Marie
Anne-Marie

Anne-Marie has been reading Tarot and oracle cards since the 1980s, guided by Spirit, intuition, and compassion. She is a psychic medium, the award-winning author of Divination 101, and the creator of the award-winning 6th Sense Connection Oracle Cards, offering gentle, grounded guidance to help people find clarity, reassurance, and trust in their own inner knowing.

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