How To Turn Down The Voice of Condemnation

 When things go wrong, our negative voice starts talking badly about us; the never-ending critical voice of condemnation has returned. The voice enters our dreams and wakes us up in the middle of the night. It invades our heads whenever it pleases, so why is it there, and how to turn down the voice of condemnation? 

The Voice Is On Reply

We all have an inner dialogue of intrusive negative self-talk, and it takes a life of its own when we believe we have messed up somehow. It’s a voice that often speaks in condescending tones reminding us that somehow we have made a mistake and don’t deserve to be happy or succeed. It speaks badly about us when we think we’ve screwed up. And its tone has no compassion or love, just criticism, and it won’t shut up until we take control.  

The Voices Of Shame And Abandonment

The unwanted voice of condemnation brought some friends with it too. Representatives of shame and abandonment also joined the conversation, and they are just as bad as condemnation. They tell us someone left us because we weren’t worthy of love, no matter how hard we tried. We won’t be truly loveable until we can keep our smart mouths in check, lose weight, or whatever other lies we tell ourselves. 

Their Purpose

Their purpose is to pull us down so they can feed off our negative energy and have no interest in helping us get back up. They whisper in our ears that we are slow learners and tell us we are dumb, and that’s why we can’t figure it out.  We try our best to live up to unrealistic expectations and strive to become better versions of ourselves. But instead of feeling like a wonder woman, we feel like a wandering woman.    

The Real Issue

We might see the bigger picture if we could take our rose-colored glasses off and look at people properly for a moment. That person we’ve been trying so hard to please was not worthy of our love.  We might have tried to make a wanna-be Mr. Right into our one true love and soulmate. The friend or the boss we wanted to please, didn’t want to be pleased with us. They choose to think badly of us regardless of how hard we try. Perhaps they’re dealing with envy and jealousy? Some people feel the need to pull someone else down as they feel unworthy and threatened.  We made up excuses for them not being mindful of our feelings when they didn’t care about us; they were too self-absorbed.

Pollyanna’s Of The World

When you only focus on what’s good about people and don’t see them as they are, you might be a Pollyanna, and there’s no shame in only seeing the good in people. When relationships turn sour, though, it will often blindside you as you tend to think you can fix everyone and everything. If people knew how much you cared or could see the bigger picture, they’d do better. The problem with this approach is the person you’re trying to help has to want to be helped or do better. They often tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite.

It’s Time To Be Kinder And Gentler With Yourself

Pollyannas are loving caring people who think the best of everyone else, and it’s time to consider the best of yourself. It’s normal on occasion to have crazy, mixed-up negative thoughts and feelings about ourselves. Would we have any friends if we spoke to them the same way we talk to ourselves? Probably not; everyone, including ourselves, deserves to be talked to with love and kindness.  If you’re struggling with being kinder to yourself, you might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist or a soul coach.    

 How We Turn Down The Voice

How about we turn shame into love and decide we are proud that we tried?  We are never alone because we always have our Spirit Guides and Angels with us, so the feelings of abandonment can instantly transform into togetherness. When we think about condemnation, its opposite is forgiveness. Let’s work on forgiving ourselves for trusting the wrong people, whose actions speak about their character and nature, not ours.    

Tell The Voice We Are Worthy

Behind these emotions can lie the life lesson of   ‘Worthiness’ and how to develop more feelings of confidence.  We can create more noticeable results when we remind ourselves that the Voice in our head, while very loud, is not always truthful.  Let’s turn the volume down on the negative self-chatter and realize it is like an old computer program.  Why not tell ourselves that this program is outdated and has started installing more uplifting, affirming messages? Most of all, we can continue to be kinder to ourselves. Remember, progress, not perfection, will measurably improve our lives.

Use Affirmations

 When that negative self-talk shows up in your head, turn it into something positive!  You can use one of the following affirmations or make your variations.  

I am love in action and forgive everyone, including myself, for all transgressions, and so it is!

 I am living my best life today, full of love and happiness.  

I am happy, and good things happen to me daily. 

I am in the right place at the right time, and everything and everyone magically shows up when needed.   

Until next time, lots of love and blessings, Kimila and Anne-Marie